I honestly wish that I didn't have to resort to my old time, high school-like posting, but this one is for my emotions I guess. I'll save THE HIPSTER CHRONICLES for my fun.
Midway through my junior year I can honestly say that intellectually, I have grown as an artist, but skillfully, I have shown no progression. I thought my thoughts could translate perfectly onto a surface, but to no avail, I still look like as if I'm a beginner.
I'm proud that I have come this far conceptually with my artwork, but it leaves the tangible to be desired. It's quite possible that I'm in a funk when it comes to getting things out onto a canvas, but it is fucking up my self-confidence. I feel as if I have set the bar too high for myself and I can't even jump up to grace my finger tips on it. I'm kicking my own ass.
I really wish this wouldn't stress me out, but it's school work, so it is. There is so much going on in my mind, but in my heart I wish I could just push it out. I need the drive, I need the energy and determination. Grades are a nice selling point to exceed in my artistic ability, but I need more than that. I feel as if I need a reason to do what I'm doing past the letters A through F.
"Heavy hangs the head that wears the crown". I need to realize that I am no where near the level of masters, or ever will be. I have dubbed myself this great artist based on though alone, and it kills me. I've compiled all these ideas, I even have blue printed them, but still.
"Practice makes perfect". Maybe I should just keep the ball rolling. Get better at what I do. I really wish that I could think about myself.
Monday, December 8, 2008
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1 comment:
I feel like that a lot. A little too much; makes me wonder what I'm doing with myself.. except mine's not so much art. I have no skill in that department.
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